Posted on 08/07/2015 2:48:37 PM PDT by rickmichaels
6. Your date sits and posts to Twitter
1. “I will make America great again”
2. Donald Hussein Trump Newbama!
3. Wooooooo!!!
4. I am the greatest!!!
5. Don’t ask me anything, I will throw a fit and trash you on Twitter
When you find out that your date “identifies” as the opposite sex of his/her birth certificate
“”decided to loudly serenade me with one of his obscenity-filled freestyle raps in the middle of a crowded restaurant.””
OMG
This is why I hated dating. The wife and I never really dated, we just got together and talked and other stuff. We don’t even do date night, and when my friends mention they’re having date night I always look at them like they lost their minds. I don’t understand why anybody would take a night out of their otherwise functioning marriage to be miserable.
lol
“Can you join me and my girlfriend for a threesome..”
“You know I’m a dude down there, right?”
?? - Your date Hot-Boxes you in the car.
They tell you the rash has cleared up.
6. As you’re sitting down at the restaurant table, he says, “This place isn’t within 100 yards of a school or a playground, is it?”
I don’t want to get started. I’ll just share one tip for guys take it or leave it. When she makes it clear that the door is open to physical relations, if you have a tendency to attract twisted women, bite the bullet and say very nicely you don’t want to rush. If she gets mad, exit...you have just saved yourself a gondola ride through Hell.
If she doesn’t get mad, and is actually understanding and nice, I like to give her a full body massage without further physical favors for myself...and tell her “I wanted the first time to be all about you...I want to be the giver this time, not the taker.”
Then be prepared, because your next date will be epic.
The only bad date I can recall was with a beautiful and I think a nice girl.
The problem was I had to totally keep any conversation going. I had to suggest anything we did. She just about said nothing the whole time.
1. When she says, “Oh, great, there’s my boyfriend.”
2. When she says, “Oh, great, there’s my dad. I’m out past my curfew.”
3. When she says, “ooooh, ouch....I think my herpes is acting up.”
6. When they introduce you to their 7 cats.
When your date spends the first half hour gushing about how great Barack Obama is. Or braiding her armpit hair.
She had made up her mind how that date was going to go in about 3 seconds.
You can’t have a good first date in Toronto because you would be dating a Torontonian.
“five signals that make the perfect recipe for a terrible first date.”
6) Your date’s eye brow falls into the soup.
5.56mm
When they are glued to their phone and just will not stop focusing on people that are not even there with them.
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