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TEH BRILLIANT!! Companies Quickly Respond to Confederate Flag Ethnic Cleansing.
The source? America's "Salem Moment" | By Laz

Posted on 06/25/2015 9:55:49 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Quickly responding to the Confederate Flag dustup that was caused by accused mass-murder Dylan Root's affinity for the banner, companies have swiftly responded, removing offensive merchandise and anything that might link them to the American Civil War. Walmart, Amazon, Sears, eBay stopped selling Confederate flag merchandise.

Apple corporation removed all Civil War themed games from it's "App" store. Sensing that the time was right, the History Channel has announced that it is pulling itself from the cable lineup because they produced a series called "Civil War: A Nation Divided." Honda has announced a recall of all Civics, because of the similarity in name to Civil, which some claim reminds them of the Civil War.

Two school textbook companies, Houghton-Mifflin-Harcourt and Scholastic, have come forward to announce that all chapters related to the American Civil War will be removed from elementary and college texts.

A major dictionary publisher, Merriam-Webster, has ordered a recall of all dictionaries it has published to remove the words "confederate", "civil", "war" and "south" since these words may offend some. It will no longer include these offensive words in future editions, a spokesthing confirmed.

CVS has announced that it will be changing its name, because the letters C, V, and S are found in the phrase "Civil War Southerners". "Better we err on the side of caution, then offend ONE PERSON," CVS's spokesthing stated.

In Jackson, Florida (a city that will soon be renamed) all Civil Litigation shall be named Non-Criminal Litigation, so as to avoid the word 'Civil'. This move is likely to be mimicked throughout the country, one legal analyst noted.

The American Society of Librarians has recommended that the letters C, V, L, F, D, W, E, A, S, T, and R be stricken from the alphabet, since they can be assembled into deadly assault phrases such as "Confederate" or "Civil War" or "Southern". When asked what we could use in their stead, the spokesthing for the Society remarked, "Russia has used Cyrillic letters to great effect for hundreds of years, and they never had a racist southern confederacy."

President Obama appeared at a press conference today, and, noting the recent corporate moves, stated "I want to thank the companies who have acted, for doing the right thing today. However, you are still not off the hook. We will be looking to you to do a lot more.... reparations and outright discrimination against whites is something we will be encouraging."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Weird Stuff
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I saw this, and looked for the satire tag.

Apple Pulls All Civil War Games Over Confederate Flag Controversy

There was no satire tag. We are all Salem, Massachusetts, now.

That is when I decided to write this.

1 posted on 06/25/2015 9:55:49 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz; TADSLOS; Norm Lenhart; cripplecreek
What Civil War?

There was no "Civil War"

Only a brief period in our History known as "unpeace"

2 posted on 06/25/2015 9:57:02 AM PDT by KC_Lion (PLEASE SUPPORT FR. Donate Monthly or Join Club 300! G-d bless you all!)
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To: KC_Lion

Get your Vault Tec paperwork in order.


3 posted on 06/25/2015 9:59:26 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Lazamataz

This HERE jUS IN

al-sharpton-to-protest-brooklyns-general-lee-avenue-!!!

its GWINE DOWN!


4 posted on 06/25/2015 9:59:31 AM PDT by MeshugeMikey ("Never, Never, Never, Give Up," Winston Churchill ><>)
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To: Lazamataz

What? What? I don’t understand any of those words you say you are omitting. Never heard of them.


5 posted on 06/25/2015 9:59:36 AM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; melissa_in_ga; Slings and Arrows; ...
The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
293 Satisfied Customers!™


Original picture by The Oatmeal

6 posted on 06/25/2015 10:00:42 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Cicero

Anybody here own a KRISS? trying to decide between the carbine and pistol.


7 posted on 06/25/2015 10:01:51 AM PDT by magna carta
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To: Norm Lenhart
Get your Vault Tec paperwork in order.

Fer reelz, dude. We are on page 99 of the 100-page novel.

8 posted on 06/25/2015 10:02:25 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Lazamataz

You are right, Laz. It is just a matter of time now before the PTB start rounding up “the usual suspects” and hanging them. America has become silly. And therein lies the danger.


9 posted on 06/25/2015 10:02:26 AM PDT by ought-six ( Multiculturalism is national suicide, and political correctness is the cyanide capsule.)
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To: Lazamataz

Your pinglist notice has slavery on it. The Federales will be with you shortly.


10 posted on 06/25/2015 10:02:36 AM PDT by Crazieman (Article V or National Divorce. The only solutions now.)
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To: ought-six

I give it no sooner than 1, and no more than 5 years.


11 posted on 06/25/2015 10:03:19 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Lazamataz

Yup. And no one to carry out burdens.


12 posted on 06/25/2015 10:03:46 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Crazieman

I am so screwed.


13 posted on 06/25/2015 10:03:53 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Lazamataz

Months. At best. We can’t stay solvent for years.


14 posted on 06/25/2015 10:04:50 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: KC_Lion
What Civil War? There was no "Civil War" Only a brief period in our History known as "unpeace"

Goodthink plus plus!

15 posted on 06/25/2015 10:05:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Lazamataz

Well you are the guy that hits it more than all others here so...

Pretty much, yea ;)


16 posted on 06/25/2015 10:05:34 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart
Dude that sucks. If it's only months we won't get to play Fallout 4.

We might be living it, but we won't get to play it.

17 posted on 06/25/2015 10:05:56 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Lazamataz

Loved this!

It’s getting very difficult distinguishing between soccer and real news.

Nothing is too crazy these days.


18 posted on 06/25/2015 10:06:06 AM PDT by gaijin
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To: gaijin
It’s getting very difficult distinguishing between soccer and real news.

Soccer IS real news.

19 posted on 06/25/2015 10:06:38 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The new GOP slogan: "Vote for us!!! We are exactly the same as the Democrats !!!")
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To: Lazamataz

Live it/play it. Think of your future as Occulous Rift with full sensory feedback.


20 posted on 06/25/2015 10:06:51 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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