A Polish man is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day.” So the Pole takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. “How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?”, the man asks himself. “I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day”, he tells himself. So, the next morning he gets up at 4 in the morning and cuts, and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and he only manages to cut five cords. The man is convinced this is a bad saw. “The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer.” The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the Pole’s claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, “Huh, it looks fine.” Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the Pole responds, “What’s that noise?”
Needs a new spark plug. Dont flood it!
A professor returned his new chainsaw to the shop where he bought it, complaining bitterly:
“You told me I would be able to saw a cord of wood in a morning with this thing.”
“Well, I worked all weekend—sunup to sundown!—and all I got was a tiny rick and a lot of blisters!”
The owner said, “OK, let’s take it out back and check it out.”
The shop owner flips the switch, primes the Woodboss and stands on its handle.
He yanks its tail.
It fires right up: RIN-YIN-YIN, Rin yin yin yin yin yin .... and then he easily slices a round off a cottonwood log.
The professor is aghast: “What was all that stuff you were doing?”
“And WHAT was all that infernal noise?!”