Boss: "So, status reports from everyone by Close of Business today."
Me: (Gets up in bosses face) You do know that things aren't like they were, do you? (HEAD TILT) If you don't learn that, you will be dead. I will be dead. (HEAD TILTS FARTHER) It's kill or be killed now. If you don't see the reality, the reality will still come visit you. (HEAD NOW AT 90 DEGREES FROM HORIZONTAL) So it is MY rules from now on. This is a Laztatorship. You don't like it, get a days rations and get out of this office."
You MUST do this. You're valued at your work, right? They'll come around. I know they will. Also, see tagline...
LOL at tagline!