Q. What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
A. Chowder
How do you fit 47 lepers in a Volkswagen?
Use a blender.
How do you get them out?
Use Doritos.
What's the difference between a leper and a tree?
A tree has limbs.
What do you do when a female leper bats her eyes at you?
Catch 'em and yell "You're OUT!"
How can you tell if you've gotten a letter from a leper?
There's a tongue stuck to the envelope.
"Mrs. Johnson, can Timmy come out to play?"
"Now, boys, you know Timmy has leprosy."
"Then can we come inside and just watch him rot?"
Why did the leper go to the gun dealer?
He wanted to buy some arms.
Why did they cancel the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner!
Did you hear about the leper who laughed his head off?
How do you make a skeleton?
Put a leper in a wind tunnel.
Did you hear about the lepers against the bomb?
They were already disarmed.
How can you stop a leper from robbing a bank?
You dis-arm him.
Why did the hooker leave the leper colony?
Business was dropping off.
How many lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and the other to give him a hand.
How do you make spagetti?
Hit a lepper over the head with a tennis racket.
Do you know why the Beatles never played at a lepper colony?
Lend me your ear and i'll sing you a song..."
Did you hear they had to cancel the leper football game?
There was a hand-off at the 50 yard line.
What do you call a leper in a Jacuzzi?
Porridge. No, call him Stew
Hear about the Leper who failed his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Why was the Leper unable to talk?
Cat had his tongue.
Why was the Leper kicked off the relay team?
He lost the last leg.
Why did the Leper baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why couldn't the Leper tie his new running shoes?
They cost him an arm and a leg.
Why do Lepers make such good neighbors?
They're always willing to lend a hand.
Why did the Lepers lose the war?
Because they were defeated from the start.
Q: What did the leper say to the hooker?
A: Keep the tip...
Should that be Jethro Tull?
Or was that:
Lend me your ears and I'll call you a fool..."