Would that be Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrick?
No, Brother Desmond Fitzmichael. Father Patrick Fitzdesmond?
Q: "Mother Dolan, why are you crying so?"
A: "Me boyo has just been made Pope!"
Q: Surely, me good woman, 'tis a cause for rejoicing, is it not?
A: "Don't be daft! How can me boy be safe, living in an Eye-Talian neighborhood?"