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Unfortunately, when I get extremely upset over an extended period (more than an hour or two) the CFIDS Mode kicks in and my mind betrays me. I can’t remember how to spell, I lose the ability to make word exchanges (crossword puzzles) and my math skills, which were never very strong, are non-existent.

Doing handcrafts is something that was compromised as well: While I could remember the basic skills, technique and stitches, reading instructions was like trying to read a foreign language. Nothing made sense, which was extremely scary since I have been doing both on one level or another since I was six.

And I forget what I was saying in the middle of a sentence. And then there is the added bonus of having a brain worm for weeks at a time when my mind wasn’t occupied with just trying to function normally, or to go to sleep.

And the worst of all is that I don’t look ill. As I said, it is an insidious disease. It changed who I am.

So this period of time since my birthday is throwing me into a full relapse, and there is nothing I can do but just let it happen. If I try to fight it, it will get worse.