My first cat died in 2002. ( both my kitties actually died on the same day but years apart. Strange).
I had her cremated and kept her favorite toy, a catnip heart, that was all chewed up and salivated on, in my underwear drawer.
My parents came over a few months later when I was working abroad, to check on my things. Needless to say, they found the cremains and the toy. Cremains were buried in the back yard because they freaked my mother out, and the toy was thrown out because my mother thought it was dirty,
It’s the only time in my life I really was upset with my parents, all I have left of that cat is her food bowl and pictures.
When my other girl died I had another vet. She put the cremains in a cherry wood box, and had her little paw print placed in cement so I have her with me.
I really miss my kitties, life to me is barely livable without one.
How odd. My brothers died on September 5, 1989 and 1990.
Favorite brother who loved me a lot died 1989.
Creepy oldest half-brother who treated me like s**t died in 1990.
And I also empathize with you about your mother’s extremely bad
behavior of burying your precious kitty’s ashes and throwing out
her toy. I’m not sure how I would have handled that. Probably by
keeping my raging anger in check until they left.
After I was sure I wouldn’t shoot them, I would probably write a
well-though-out and gentle letter explaining that my things are
not theirs to throw away, no matter how dirty or dead they are.