Two elderly women having a coffee, one asks the other, "Did you come on the bus?"
"Yes," she replies, "but I made it look like an asthma attack."
A mad guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his model 1911 Colt .45 caliber pistol with an 8-round magazine, and yelled, "Who in here has been sleeping with my wife?"
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo."
h/t Leo
h/t Ray
h/t dave
