Observatory Hell from the 86th Floor of Empire State Building

[SamAdams76]

Observation decks in skyscrapers are always an overpriced "tourist trappy" sort of thing so I try to avoid them in general.

However, I had some family members visiting this week and they insisted upon going to the top of the Empire State Building (a slender and majestic skyscraper that sits on corner of 34th St and 5th Avenue).

Ayn Rand admired this building, which went up rapidly in the 1930s - at the height of the Great Depression - but I digress.

Now last time I went to observation deck of this particular building was back in the 1980s when my new wife and I spend a few days on Manhattan as part of our honeymoon. The Twin Towers were still around at the time and we went to the top of one of those as well. We actually walked the 30+ blocks to get there as we were young and full of energy and didn't want to take a cab if we could help it.

Well, a lot has changed in the nearly 30 years since I was last up on the 86th floor observation deck. There was practically no security and we pretty much pushed a button on an elevator to take us up to the 80th floor where we purchased tickets and took other elevators to both 86th and 102nd floor decks. No muss, no fuss.

Ronald Reagan was our president in those days!

This time around, the experience was quite different. We started out in Times Square which was pleasant enough. Highly recommended to bring the family to Times Square - just stay away from anybody dressed in a costume as they are creepy as hell and just want some of your money so you can take a lame picture with them.

So from Times Square, we walked the 8 blocks over to the Empire State Building, passing by the gigantic Macy's store that takes up an entire block.

As soon as we got past Macy's, the experience went downhill. We were surrounded by shifty looking "third party" vendors of tickets to various NYC attractions, complete with credit card scanners, who wanted to sell us overpriced observatory tickets that also included ferry to Ellis Island and a trip to top of Statue of Liberty.

Now I had a herd of about 10 family members with me so before I could corral them up, some of them already had their credit cards out, making it a done deal that we would purchase $29 tickets for $38 each (which they considered a bargain because Ellis Island ferry and Statue of Liberty trip was included). Unfortunately I did not have time to inform them that logistically, there was no way for us to take in the tour as we were only in the city for one day and it was already coming up on 3pm.

OK, no big deal. So we got fleeced for $9 a piece. About the price of a couple street vendor hot dogs. Welcome to New York! Plus, we should save a little time from having to purchase tickets inside the building - or so we thought.

So as we approach the Empire Street Building, we notice this massive line snaking around the block. Yes, this is the line to get inside the building to visit the observatory.

As noted, it was about 3pm and it takes us about a half hour to get into the lobby of ESB, in which another line snaked along, to where, we knew not.

It was about quarter to 4 before we were allowed to go up the escalator to the second floor where a huge "Space Mountain at Disney" type line weaved up and down the entire space, separated by the type of velvet ropes you normally see in movie theater lobbies.

During all this time, people with $50 "fast pass" tickets were whisked by us. It slowly dawned on us all that as time is money, those $50 tickets we originally snickered at seemed like quite the bargain.

After about a half hour, it became obvious that the line we were in culminated in "airport style" metal detectors, manned by those who were evidently turned down by TSA. As we snaked closer, we were notified over loudspeakers to remove our jackets and belts. Only the loudspeaker voice resembled that of the adults in Charlie Brown cartoons and we couldn't make heads or tails out of what we being said until some brassy lady with a dark blue uniform marched up and down shouting at us to remove jackets and belts.

Once through the phalanx of TSA-rejects with their wands and their expressionless stony faces, we then had to get in yet another line, this time to purchase tickets (which we got to skip) and to get offered "audio guides" which looked like 1970s era Walkie Talkies and rented for $11.

We passed.

Then we had to run a guantlet of useless exhibits showing how the skyscraper was built and other sort of useless facts, such as how many miles of pipes are in the plumbing (7 miles, if you are interested to know). Nothing looked like it was updated since the 1960s.

Most people shoved their way past these exhibits but you had a tiny percentage of overly-earnest tourists (mostly of Asian descent) who gummed up the works by pausing at each exhibits with their "audio guide" devices held up to their ears after having punched in the appropriate three digit code.

After all that, we come to yet another long line. By now it is 4:45pm - we have been standing in lines already for nearly two hours. This line leads to a person taking photographs of each group of tourists against a green background (which in the photos, will make it appear you are standing on the balcony over Manhattan at night).

There is no escaping the photo shoot. You are not simply allowed to walk past the camera without standing for a picture, whether by your self or as part of a group. We are thinking that this is a ruse to have our pictures taken for security purposes - and we are probably right about that.

Once the pictures are taken (with our images temporarily occupying the TV screens shown hanging from the ceilings - until the next group photo takes over), we are stuck in yet another long line.

Eventually, this line ends at a bank of elevators that takes us to the 80th floor. Because the building was designed such that you had to take separate elevators on the 80th floor to go higher.

Once on the 80th floor, you guessed it, another very long line snaking to the other bank of elevators.

However, this time, we were given the option of walking six flights of stairs as opposed to waiting another half hour to get on the next elevator.

Pretty much everybody availed themselves of the opportunity, including little old ladies and pot-bellied out-of-shape men who really should have known better.

So now, after waiting in lines for over two hours, we are now stuck in narrow staircases with sweaty, smelly and out-of-breath people, with the sounds of scuffling feet and raspy intakes and outtakes of bad breath. By the time we got to the 84th floor landing, you had a bunch of people just standing against the wall with their tongues hanging out and making all sorts of disgusting rasping and gasping sounds as they tried to catch their breath in the hot, stale air.

There was actually an elderly lady with crutches attempting to negotiate the staircase. It was crazy!

Finally we get to the 86th floor observatory. The sun was shining brightly when we entered the building nearly 2 1/2 hours ago. Now there is only the tinge of a sunset we missed and Manhattan is spread out below us in shimmering lights.

It would be a great view if we could actually get to edge but there were hundreds - probably thousands - of tourists that so crammed the observation deck that it was all we could do to turn sideways and inch our way around the platform. Meanwhile, you had a group of mall-cop types in uniforms telling us to "move along, move along".

There were so many people on the deck that I seriously feared that the building might tip over if we did not properly balance our collective weight around the observation deck (however, no problem on that count).

After about 20 minutes, we finally decided we had had enough and after squeezing in a few obligatory photos that were not obstructed by other people, we headed for the elevators to go back down.

However, it was not quite as easy as pushing the button and going down to the bottom. First ,we had to go back down to the 80th floor and get herded through about a quarter mile of gift shop. Then we had to get past the pushy vendors trying to sell us the photo they took of us earlier for $20.

Once past that, we got literally pushed into an elevator that took us to the bottom and we were unceremoniously shunted out to the street outside, where we saw even longer lines waiting to get in.

So all in all, the Empire State Building observatory is a colossal ripoff. However, the rest of our day in NYC went exceedingly well. Especially the Heartland Brewing and Chophouse on 43rd Street where we all had dinner. After a couple of Oatmeal Stouts, I was feeling good about NYC once again.

[wally_bert]

Looks like a really nice place.

[SamAdams76]

It was meant to come across somewhat tongue-in-cheek.

Also to serve as object lessons for others.

1) When in NYC, do not purchase tickets from street vendors
2) Expect massive crowds in NYC during Christmas week and avoid popular tourist destinations

I did mention at the end of the piece that our overall day in NYC was a success, from our earlier trip to Times Square to the dinner at the end of the day. So not intended to be a NYC-bashing story!

[miss marmelstein]

Oh. I see, truly. But it led to FReepers attacking our fair city yet again. They all think it’s a hellhole straight out of “Taxi Driver” when, in fact, it’s an OK place. Why, as somebody who works here, would you be surprised that Koreatown in Manhattan is shabby?

[EDINVA]

I remember riding the subway when you’d put a dime in the turnstyle, pre-tokens and waaaay pre cards.

[SamAdams76]

Well even if I wrote a total puff-piece about NYC, the same folks would come out of woodwork to attack the city (witness every single pro-Apple thread that Swordmaker puts up). They would still come here to state that they would never set foot in that city under any circumstances.

I don't think we are going to win them over either way.

But people still buy billions of dollars in Apple products and from the numbers of people I see in the city whenever I come in on the weekends, it is in no danger of losing its popularity as a premier destination for tourists.

[jaz.357]

Just imagine...

[miss marmelstein]

Fine. I still don’t understand why you wrote this. I can guarantee, unlike what other FReepers say, no magazine is going to buy your piece.

[jaz.357]

I lived 12 miles from midtown Manhattan on the Jersey side. It took 1 1/2 hours to commute. You can keep it!

[sportutegrl]

For popular attractions, get there when they open in the morning. The line has not had a chance to build up, yet. Actually, in some cases, you can/should plan on arriving 1/2 to 1 hour before it officially opens.This works really well for Disney World.

[onedoug]

Me too.

I wonder what NYC old timers call it.

[Rummyfan]

Top of the Rock gives just as great a viewing platform and is usually less crowded.

[SamAdams76]

Would have made a great cover for a Led Zeppelin album.

[onedoug]

Thanks for your service. Did you fly?

I was armored cav (1/1 Americal), but I sure spent a lot of time in helicopters. I recall once coming into Chu Lai (the old fart can’t stop himself). We were flying along and suddenly another UH-1 is alongside us at about 200 meters. Then there’s another on the other side of our ship. Then another. Now another. And yet even more, to where, looking out behind us through the open slide-hatch, there must have been at least 20-25 UH-1s lining up for landings at various tarmacs around the installation. Ours was Blueghost, where the mess hall was open all night!

An odd, yet adventuresome way from the field to our equivalent of a resort.

[Kirkwood]

You need to calm down.

[miss marmelstein]

I had no idea I was even upset...

[Gay State Conservative]

If you're in NYC you've gotta find time to do it at least once...even if it is overcrowded and overpriced.I did the WTC observatory twice...once the enclosed one (bad weather) and once the rooftop one.*That* was one of the most breathtaking experiences in my life...watching a helicopter fly by *below* you is indescribable.

I also did the observatory at the Burj Kalifa in Dubai...the tallest man made structure on earth.One hundred dollars....huge disappointment (all you see is desert).

[doorgunner69]

I flew on the CH-46 out of Quang Tri, way up north.

[Kirkwood]

You sound pretty stressed out.

[righttackle44]

I personally can’t understand why anyone would go to any city for tourism.

Well. You can go to the forests where bigfoot may want to rip your head from your shoulders. You can go to Yellowstone where the supervolcano might blow you back past wherever you came from. You can go to a national forest where you might disappear permanently. You could go to the Carlsbad Caverns where, it is alleged, cryptid monsters have dragged people away. You could go, if you can get past the bigfoots, to El Capitan at Yosemite and climb it, spending the night halfway up. How about a hike down the Appalachian Trail where anyone of a dozen different monsters and cryptids will snatch you away for their lunch? So a city, despite armed or dynamite-clad Muslims or similar others, is probably the same risk as anywhere else.

[SamAdams76]

I always wondered why they had to build skyscrapers in the middle of the desert. I can understand Manhattan, it's a small island and there's nowhere to go but up - as virtually every square inch of land is spoken for.

The view of Manhattan is pretty impressive from just about any vantage point. Now there are skylines developing across the rivers such as in Jersey City, Long Island City, Brooklyn, etc., along with the bridges that interconnect them.

One thing that was striking when I was atop the ESB the other day was the 432 Park Ave residential building that recently got topped off (still with cranes on it) and is now the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere (minus spires - which is a skyscraper way of cheating).

More such residential high-rise towers are on the way.