I can only offer my condolences and advise you to let yourself feel the sad feelings; be with family as much as possible to share memories (if you’re on good terms with them); don’t be afraid to reach out to friends; and go to church where you will be in a loving and nurturing community. It also helps not to be idle - get out there and volunteer, help others, etc. It might not sound like much, but it really helps.
My prayers are with you, and the Lord Jesus is right there with you, holding you in his strong but gentle arms and comforting you. Lean on Him and His mighty strength, and He will carry you through. There is a ministry called “Celebrate Recovery” in many churches, and I know it helps many people who attend the meetings, which are generally held once a week.
We are all here for you.
My husband died almost 16 years ago at the age of 52. It was totally unexpected and I didn’t handle it very well either. Some of the things that helped me were journaling about my feelings (filled 3 journals), going to a bereavement group (for months) and participating in an online support group (Widownet.org). Holidays were the hardest for a long time. Be good to yourself and realize that everyone recovers in their own time and in their own way. Just take it one day at a time and know it WILL get better. Bless you.
My husband died at the age of 61 last December 1. It gets better but you must allow yourself time to grieve. I will walk along side you through your journey if you wish. Freepmail me you contact info, I am here for you, God bless.
If death my friend and me divide,
Thou dost not, Lord, my sorrow chide,
Or frown my tears to see;
Restrained from passionate excess,
Thou bidst me mourn in calm distress
For them that rest in Thee.
I feel a strong immortal hope,
Which bears my mournful spirit up
Beneath its mountain load;
Redeemed from death, and grief, and pain,
I soon shall find my friend again
Within the arms of God.
Pass a few fleeting moments more
And death the blessing shall restore
Which death has snatched away;
For me Thou wilt the summons send,
And give me back my parted friend
In that eternal day.
Charles Wesley
I take a lot of comfort regarding loss of a particular loved one by watching the Long Island Medium, Teresa Caputo.
http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/long-island-medium
Teresa says that loved ones who have passed can often hear what we say to them conversationally.
When Teresa channels spirits they tell her that they “hear” what their loved ones want to communicate to them.
God called my husband home on Easter Sunday over 12 years ago at the age of 51. He had just had
a check up the week before, and though he suffered from sleep apnea, had received a clean bill of health.
He was lying next to me and had stopped snoring. This always woke me up, not his snoring, but when he would stop.
I would give him a few seconds and if he didn't start breathing again, I would nudge his shoulder and he would start breathing again.
On April 1, 2002 at a little past midnight, he didn't start breathing again. Despite the CPR efforts of my 20 year old daughter, my
19 year old son and myself, we could not bring him back. We had been married for over 26 years. He was and still is my soul mate.
We have continued with our lives, thanks largely I believe due to our faith and the prayers of our friends and family. Those prayers have
held us together when sadness and grief have pulled at our hearts.
I still miss him something fierce, but I am Catholic and I do believe in the Communion of Saints. His physical presence may be missing,
but his spirit still lives strongly in my heart and my memories. I still catch site of him in our children and now in our grandchildren (which
he was so looking forward to).
I have gone on to start a new job (10 years now) and have made new friends, male and female, but no one has filled the place in my heart that
belongs to Dave. I think he was my one and only in that department.
Everyone is different however. A dear friend of mine lost her husband in similar circumstances about 4 years ago. They had been high school
sweethearts and married right after graduation. She has found happiness in a second marriage just recently. Life does go on.
After Dave passed away, I made a conscious decision to thank God for sending him to me, letting me share his life for 26 years and not begrudge
his being called home. He always belonged to God first and the Lord blessed us with him for longer than some people get to share their time
together.
I know Dave and I will meet again when God calls me, so in the meantime, I keep my heart open to God's plan for me. May God Bless you and help
you over your difficult times.
Merry Christmas!