The stock market will go up; the stock market will go down.
Kim Cardcashin shows some more skin.
My ten:
1. Barack Obama will continue to view the United States Constitution as a quaint historical relic and issue executive orders and actions that violate it. Mitch McConnell will give bland, monotone comments expressing stern disagreement with Obama’s actions and then stand by and let them proceed apace.
2. Ted Cruz, Mike Lee and Tim Scott will try to do something about it, but will be called all sorts of awful things by Mitch McConnell, John McCain, Lindsey Graham and the Cackle Girls (Susan Collins and Kelly Ayotte).
3. The Supreme Court will rule that states that did not create exchanges do not get Obamacare subsidies. Conservatives will rejoice until John Boehner and Mitch McConnell push through a bill allowing just that.
4. Elizabeth Warren will give her first real one-on-one interview to a fair and balanced journalist who is not a soppy liberal lobbing softballs. It will be a cringing, inexcusable disaster that reveals her to be an empty suit and a hypocrite. The Chupacabra from Chappaqua will return to the limelight.
5. Football players and reality television stars will do pervy things and it will be treated as “news”.
6. Things get really weird when Robert Culp announces that he has hazy memories of his time on I, Spy because of those drinks Bill Cosby used to give him.
7. Raul Castro does lunch at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
8. Many of the recent retail hacks in the news are found to have originated in Russia, North Korea and China. Obama says “we’ll investigate” and that is where it is left.
9. One of the major cable companies lobbies Congress for a la carte programming. It happens, is successful and slows the bleeding for cable television. People employed at CNN, MSNBC and many other networks immediately excuse themselves to change their underwear.
10. The recent spate of comic-book movies jumps the shark when plans are announced for Little Lulu: the Movie starring Lena Dunham.
General Motors is taken over by Mattel Hot Wheels. They take all the engines out of the vehicles and tell owners to start from the top of a hill. Sales skyrocket.
Something totally unexpected will happen and Obama will be forced out of office. Joe Biden will become President but his influence will be almost nil.
Hilliary’s Presidential run will fail.
The nation moves to the right.
(My crystal ball leans to the right, what can I say)
The Washington Redskins change their name to “Steve”.
Chicago Cubs will win the World Series.
A movement to rename the United States to Obamastan will fail in the summer due to a countermovement by those preferring the name Greater Clintonia. By the end of 2015, polls show that El Diablo is the preferred name.
BAMA national collegiate football champions.
Predictions for 2015 ? Hmm... Lafroste’s daughter turns 10 and she learns how to bathe by herself.
Sylvester Stallone wants to make another EXPENDABLES movie, but misspells the title and we have THE EXPANDABLES movie. Rosie O’Donnell stars.
Not conspiracy theory, just evaluation of where we are headed:
1. The half breed announces he will run for a third term because his work is not finished.
2. Democrats cheer; Republicans denounce, vowing to fight.
3. Congress votes to suspend the 22nd amendment for the half breed’s benefit. However, Senate refuses to confirm the regime’s Ambassador to Cuba, Medea Benjamin.
4. The half breed disbands Congress.
5. 2016 elections cancelled. SWMNBN and Fauxahontas denounce the half breed while Ted Cruz and Mike Lee form a second party.
Obama lifts import quotas on cane sugar from Cuba because he loves Cuba and hates the South, especially Louisiana. This would be a good thing for candy and ethanol producers in the U.S.
Hillary Clinton falls down. Blames it on “Some bad spaghetti”.
Stock market crash.
Supreme court rules against Obozocare subsidies.
Ebola outbreak in USA.
Race war.
ISIS attack on US soil.
Republicans will be blamed for all of the above.
I will hit it.
Women and Minorities will be hardest hit.
Bill Clinton hits on a fire hydrant. Realizes he needs new glasses. Says he wouldn’t kick the fire hydrant out of bed for eating crackers. Cracker sales tumble.
China lands first goat on the moon. Announces, “We don’t know why either. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”