I went to the zoo today and asked if they had any talking parrots. The zookeeper said they didn’t, but they had a woodpecker that knew morse code.
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If I was a zookeeper, I wouldn’t even bother putting anything in the Chameleon exhibit.
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A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions’ cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.
The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”
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A zookeeper walks into a bar with an elephant and orders two beers. After a few hours and a few more drinks, the elephant collapses drunk on the floor.
As the zookeeper stumbles for the door, the bartender calls after him, “Hey! You can’t just leave that lyin’ here!”
The zookeeper slurs, “Tha’shnot a lion; tha’shan elephant.”
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“Don’t worry, the duck will pay for everything. Put it on its bill.”