"How can one be proud of and find "comfort" and "identity" in the flag of a "Failed State," of a nation which existed for only four years, during a time of constant warfare, and which was then dissolved?"
The same way Texans can be proud of a flag with a hand drawn cannon and the moto "Come and Take It". Molon Labe, "come and take it", is a classical expression of defiance in the face of overwhelming odds, reportedly spoken by Sparta's King Leonidas I in response to the Persian army's demand that the Greeks surrender their weapons at the Battle of Thermopylae. After fighting valiantly for 3 days, the greatly outnumbered Greeks ultimately lost.
"Remember the Alamo" is another classical expression of defiance and was the Battle Cry that Texians shouted as they attacked and defeated Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto. Now, Texans are proud of that Battle Cry, but Mexicans view it as an insult.
The Stars and Bars, the Confederate Battle Flag, and various other Confederate flags all symbolized "States Rights" and a Federalist rather than Centralized government. Slavery was not a Casus Belli of the War of Northern Agression. Economics was the Casus Belli of the War - the South was rich (agriculture) and gaining power while the North was losing influence and money. In 1863, after almost 3 years of fighting, Lincoln introduced the slavery issue as a much needed recruitment and fund raising tool to shift the tide of the war back to the North (and which worked only too well).
So it is easy for us Southerners (and yes that includes Texas) to be proud of our heritage and Confederate flags. After all, most all Southerners and even FReepers want limited Federal government and increased States Rights and Individual Liberty - the same goals for which the Confederacy was formed.
FReegards,
RebelTex