I’m proud of my Southern heritage, and though I don’t fly a flag to show it, neither am I ashamed of it. My uncle does, but he went to Ole Miss. And my distant grandfather? He was an abolitionist in the early 1800’s, used to help local slaves escape up north. Also mighty proud of that. I don’t see them as mutually exclusive.
I only have two Union ancestors, both Cherokee. It was a controversy among the Eastern Band just as it was with everyone else. Yes, I realize that the majority of them were Confederate.
As far as everyone else, at last count, I have 123 in my paternal line who fought for the Confederacy. My great grandfather ran away and enlisted at age 14 to find his older brother, who had been gut shot and died of peritonitis at Point Lookout, Maryland.
My mother’s line were nearly all opposed to the institution of slavery. Moravian, Quaker, etc. plus the aforementioned Cherokee, so if there were any Confederates there I’m not aware at this point.