Just my two cents and something you might want to consider aside from the economics, if you haven’t already, before selling your home, your husband changing jobs, perhaps leaving a very good job later in his established professional career and moving all the way across country….
Your son and daughter in law might be very happy to have you and your husband move closer to them and their child but did they ask you to make this move? Are your son and especially your DIL, encouraging it, excited about it, have you discussed it with them? And what is your relationship with your DIL? Are you close? Do you get along with her and her family? Does she have parents or other family in the Princeton area that she and her husband spend time with now? Are they active with friends or their church, their existing social circle? What about you and your husband in CA? Do you have a lot of friends and activities you are active in now that you will miss? How easily do you make new friends? And keep in mind that the north east coast mindset is a lot different than in CA; even moving from MD to PA, I’ve found that, generally speaking, people in PA are not as warm and friendly and open to new comers. And are you prepared for the winter weather in this part of the country?
Also what are your expectations vs. that of your son and DIL of once you do move closer; of how often you will be visiting them and your grandchild – anytime you feel like it, every weekend, once a month, or just on holidays and for birthday parties and or only when you are specifically invited by them? Conversely what are their expectations of you? Would they expect you to provide free babysitting services at the drop of the hat once you are within driving distance? Would you be OK with that?
Don’t get me wrong. I think wanting to be closer to your grandchild and being a part of his life is a great thing. Your son and daughter in law and their child should be happy that you care so much and want to be more active in grandparenting. But also keep in mind that while the child is YOUR grandchild, first and foremost he is THEIR child and this is their married life and their life as a family. It shouldn’t just be only about you and what “you” want but rather that what you all want and can mutually benefit from.
And FWIW and on a somewhat funny side note; have you ever watched the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond? If so, do you identify more with Raymond and Debra Barone or with Marie and Frank Barone or with Debra’s parents? Do you think that Marie is the best grandparent and mother in law ever! If so, I could see trouble ahead. LOL!
Thanks so much for your detailed reply and ALL of you for taking your time in this. Our move is not imminent, and since it is a big one, there are a lot of things to consider. We both appreciate so much the feedback that has been shared on this thread.
I love FR and my fellow FReepers! It is so encouraging to know that there are like-minded folks out there, especially with the news so grim and the Chicago Thugs running the show (temporarily).
Jim, great job and Life’s Work on this terrific site.