Your question, “What is wrong with me?” can only be answered through the process of elimination.
Your honest answers are imperative.
Have you ever blamed your fart on someone else ?
When backing up in your car, do you look over your shoulder or use the mirrors ?
Are you a “Stacker” of stuff or is everything neatly sorted ?
Have you ever shot at wild critters from your porch ?
In answer to your questions::
Always
Neither
Both
Yes, this morning
:)