I know bacon comes from piggies, but is there no such thing as a cute "bacon girl"?
As for therapy, try weaving a few of those taco shells! I don't think I've ever heard of bacon in a taco, let alone an entire shell made of the stuff but what the hell, once in the proverbial blue moon, why not? And it's so right, where was it 25 years ago? Taco Bell missed the boat on that one!