1. Visit your medical doctor and be assessed for depression. You may be self medicating with alcohol.
2. Do not blame yourself and do not blame your husband for the circumstances you are both in. He is caught in the spiral too.
3. Get to a counselor to help you untangle the causes of your behavior and to work on them with you. Pay for it if you must because it can save your life and your marriage.
4. Don’t stop trying to get better, even if you have a set back. Get up and go at it again. Millions have quit drinking. Many of them have had to take a few tries to quit completely. You can only get there if you keep trying.
Good advice