A rich man on his death bed, says to his wife. I want you to take all my money upstairs to the attic. So when I pass, I will be able to grab it on the my way up.
The wife does as her husband had asked and a few days later the old fellow dies. The wife immediately runs up to the attic and just as she expected all the money was stil there and she says to herself, darn I knew I should have put his money in the basement.
The back story..Shakespeare and Byron.. England's greatest poets..both long dead, and have centuries in Limbo, finally get up to Heaven, and find St. Peter awaiting them at the Pearly Gates.
Peter apologizes, saying since it's late on a Friday, he only has time to process one of them into Heaven...the other will have to go back down to Limbo for a while. He decides to have a contest to decide who stays....and asks them to compose a poem about "Timbuktu."
Byron's up first:
"I sat upon the ocean's shore,
And watched the mighty breakers roar.
Far our at sea, came into view,
A schooner bound for Timbuktu."
Not bad, says, Peter..OK..Billy's up...
Shakespeare offers:
"Tim and I, a walking went
We met three ladies in a tent.
They were three, and we just two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu!"
A man is at work one day when he notices his male co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense”. The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings”. “Don’t make such a big deal out of it. It’s only an earring”, he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in my truck”
lol
Thank you for a joke that isn’t woman-bashing!