A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.
This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"
The man replied, "I have a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts looking good, I head home!
pic courtesy onyx
An old man was sipping on a glass on whiskey, while sitting on the patio with his wife, and he says: “I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you” ... His wife asks: “Is that you, or the whisky talking?”..... He replies: “It’s me .... talking to the whiskey.”
Translation: "According to a serious survey 99.9% of males looking at this picture won’t notice the mouse on the donut!"
h/t to Leo.