One last comment. If you do not have the money to pay your payroll taxes, your CPA can get the IRS to take the money directly from your retirement account. If the IRS takes it out rather than you, it should be exempt from the 10% early withdrawal penalty. All situations are different and you need your CPA to evaluate the facts and circumstances of your situation in order to get the best advice. I can only speak in generalities and can not give professional advice specific to your situation in a forum such as this.
Forgot to mention.... If the business was in her name alone, usually only she is liable for the payroll taxes, not you. In many states, jointly held real estate is also protected from seizure. This is important as they cannot take your retirement, or any bank accounts that are NOT held jointly. Quantify the liability as it is usually manageable, but fear of not knowing makes mole hills into mountains.
If it is her liability alone and she has the illness, it usually helps in negotiating away the liability. If the business is incorporated and you are an owner or officer, your fiduciary responsibility for the payroll taxes may prevent your exclusion from the liability.