Posted on 03/21/2014 5:57:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
I'm here for the silkiness! What, you say this is silliness, and silkiness is next door? Sorry.
How many unexpected jet airliners fly into Pakinstani airspace every day? Seriously, how did that conspiracy theory get legs?
Credit to Osage Orange for some3 silliness I promised I would steal yesterday>>
> Fred The Egg Man & His Smart Old Rooster Butch
> > Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
>> He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
>> >> This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
>> >> Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
>> >> Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
>> >> Fred’s favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
>> >> When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
>> >> To Fred’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.
>> >> He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
>> >> Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
>> >> The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
>> >> Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
>> >> Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8 Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16 Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
All good!
I understand it can glide for an hour. I figure if it powered up for a half hour to get altitude, then glided for an hour, over and over, it landed in Kansas.
It was all a case of bad cellular.
So crazy it just may work!
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