Why Are Jesus Movies Always Lame?

Yahoo News via Daily Beast ^ | 03/03/2013 | By Matthew Paul Turner

[SeekAndFind]

I never want to see Jesus again.

Not in a movie, at least. Not after sitting through two hours and 18 minutes of Son of God, the latest tragedy about the life of Jesus and the acting career of Roma Downey, the onetime Touched By An Angel star who, in addition to playing Mary, produced the film with her husband, Mark Burnett.

Having watched some of History Channel’s The Bible, the 10-hour mini series from which most of Son of God was pieced together, I already knew Jesus Starring Roma Downey wasn’t going to be great. (Nothing starring Roma Downey has ever been great.) But still, I went to the theater praying for the best, hoping Jesus might not be terrible. But alas, God’s only son was terrible; the story, the dialogue, the acting, the non-miraculous special effects—all pretty terrible. Sometimes it was SyFy Channel-terrible. Son of God is so awful that it borders on godless—not sinful or heretical, just lacking true Spirit.

Which is why I’m officially done watching Jesus movies. Because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every single Jesus movie made since 1960. No, I’m not a biblical film connoisseur by choice; I was just raised in a cave by Baptists who, upon purchasing a VCR in 1985, only watched movies that were produced by Disney, loosely based on Bible stories, or called Ben-Hur.

Consequently, I’ve watched a lot of Jesus movies in my day. And frankly, none of them are exactly great.

The first movie I can remember watching was The Greatest Story Ever Told, the 1965 biblical epic starring Charlton Heston as the shapeshifter, John the Baptist. At times, Heston appears more werewolf than human, which ended up being the best part of the film.

[cloudmountain]

1. Call me cranky, but I’m saying - IF this Cranky Critic already knew it was going to be lame, why bother seeing it? And furthermore, why bother reviewing it in a negative way?
1. He saw it because it was his job. Too many critics are negative, I think, because that's what they think of those movies. Also, they wouldn't DARE be positive about a Jesus film...that would RUIN them with godless Hollywood.
Also, the Cranky Critic has no backbone and that's a fac, jack.

2. Can we not just celebrate that this movie was made at all and opened all over the US? That there was enough money available that it could be made? That someone had the vision and the fortitude to push through that vision to a finished product? That many people worked and got paid making it? Are these not amazing in their own right? But no, the Christians must tear it apart. “The doctrine is not perfect, it’s lame, it doesn’t xx, it includes xx.”
2. Not all Christians tore it apart. The Catholic Church's view was favorable, what I read, of course.
The people who made this movie ARE amazing. They wrote a GOOD film about Jesus in the TEETH of all the opposition, criticism and negativity they KNEW they would get.

3. I look forward to the day when Christians can unify as a subset within a dark culture, represent Christ to our lost brethren, and simply celebrate amazing attempts to bring Light to this dark world.
3. That will happen on the last day of the world. Our human nature, as Abraham Lincoln said, can be modified to some extent, but cannot be changed.
THAT is why we NEED Jesus so much.

[Hostage]

Watch the links in Post #19. I think you will not be disappointed.

[cuban leaf]

I don’t have too much of a problem with “filling in the gaps” where you have some day to day types of conversations.

---

I don’t either, but once they do I consider it “fiction that is based on a true story”. Kinda like “The Last Temptation of Christ”.

[MosesKnows]

Why Are Jesus Movies Always Lame?

Why expect moviemakers to excel at telling God's words and works? It should be enough to appreciate their best efforts even when those efforts fall far short of the New Testament books about Jesus.

I can't imagine how finite humans would go about apprehending the mind of an infinite God but I can appreciate their best efforts.

If you wish to amuse God, tell him of your plans.

[dangus]

Yes, if you go without adding any details not in the bible, you can be done the whole movie in about an hour, featuring largely mere sermons.

[Repulican Donkey]

Turner’s review is a condescensnarkmeow!

[CodeToad]

Thanks for your review. I’ve wanted to see Son of God but the reviews have been highly mixed. Yours seems more real than the other reviews.

[Repulican Donkey]

Greatest story Ever Told was memorable. The upper balcony, a hot girl and making out right through Lazarus rising from the dead. I was one happy 10th grader!

[cloudmountain]

Your welcome.

[Londo Molari]

Actually, I look at Jesus movies this way — even though it might be “one dimensional”, it can expose some people who have never been exposed to the story of Christ. Even if it just brings 1 person to the Bible, it is well worth it.

Criticism aside, in this world of terrible movies and messages, isn't it better to have a movie that tells the story of Christ? Isn't it better to have people interested in seeing this movie rather than brokeback mountain?

[Mannaggia l'America]

Few things cause the story of Jesus to fall short of God’s glory like a factual cinematic portrayal acted out by pretty Caucasians with British accents and bed-head walking joyfully across barren landscapes to a dramatic symphony of flutes and strings.

This is my biggest turn off to these movies. I give Gibson credit for at least using Aramaic and other period languages in his movie.

Some of it could also be the familiarity with the story. My kids go to Catholic school and they put on a passion play every year. It reminds me of the time one of the parish priests got to the play late, and the teachers said to him "it's too bad you missed half the play" and he replied "that's OK, I read the book"...

[aMorePerfectUnion]

Jesus movies are always lame because they are an idol of The Real One.

[Argus]

I agree, and in that sense there are no bad Jesus movies.

[BeadCounter]

Few things cause the story of Jesus to fall short of God’s glory like a factual cinematic portrayal acted out by pretty Caucasians with British accents and bed-head walking joyfully across barren landscapes to a dramatic symphony of flutes and strings.

Point taken, so the author of the Yahoo article would also take objection to portrayals of Jesus among African people as being black or among Asian people as having features like theirs as well.

I'm glad the author is so theologically informed to insinuate Our Lord, God has limits.

[stars & stripes forever]

“Can we not just celebrate that this movie was made at all and opened all over the US?”

The reason the movie was lame was because Jesus’ diety and power was deliberately removed from the script.

“Son of God” was produced and directed by 2 New Age Gurus. That in itself is a sad commentary on the Christian community.

[yldstrk]

who is this Roma person?

[SeekAndFind]

RE: who is this Roma person?

Brief Intro from Wikipedia:

Roma Downey is an Irish actress and Emmy nominated producer from Northern Ireland. She played kind-hearted angel Monica on the American TV series Touched by an Angel. Downey received two Emmy and Golden Globe nominations for her role on the show. Downey is an ambassador for Operation Smile.

An author of three books for children and producer of the children’s series, Little Angels. She is currently the executive producer of the television miniseries The Bible on the History channel. She also plays the role of Mother Mary in the series.

The Bible shattered sales records in its first week of home video release, selling 525,000 units to become the top-selling TV miniseries of all time.

Downey was raised as, and remains, a Roman Catholic.

Downey graduated from the University of Santa Monica with a master’s degree in spiritual psychology.

[BeadCounter]

At least for the Bible series and Son of God seems to have grown out of that, here are some of the advisors at least stated in the wikipedia article:

“Burnett and Downey consulted “a wide range of pastors and academics,” including their friend Joel Osteen, Joshua Garroway (a rabbi from Hebrew Union College), and a Catholic cardinal.[1] Geoff Tunnicliffe of the World Evangelical Alliance, read each episode’s script and visited the set in Morocco: he “wanted to be sure that the final edits would hold together as a singular thematic message throughout the entire series” and “was not disappointed.”[18] Another consultant, Focus on the Family President Jim Daly, applauded the couple’s courage for making the series: “Let’s face it, it takes some moxie to lift up the Bible in the middle of Hollywood. In fact, when they first proposed the project they were told to try and tell the story without mentioning Jesus. They refused.”[19]

Other project advisors included:[20]

Rick Warren (pastor, Saddleback Church)
Erwin McManus (pastor, Mosaic)
Sam Rodriguez (National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference)
Paul Eshleman (Campus Crusade for Christ)
Bobby Gruenewald (YouVersion Bible)
Brad Lomenick (Catalyst)
Leith Anderson (president, National Association of Evangelicals)
Frank Wright (president, National Religious Broadcasters)
Tom Peterson (Catholics Come Home)
Gabe Lyons (founder of the Fermi Project)
Luis Palau (Christian evangelist)
George Wood (General Superintendent of the General Council of the Assemblies of God in the United States of America)
Craig Groeschel (Life Church)
Denny Rydberg (Young Life)
Andrew Benton (president, Pepperdine University)”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bible_%28TV_miniseries%29

[stars & stripes forever]

“The people who made this movie ARE amazing. They wrote a GOOD film about Jesus in the TEETH of all the opposition, criticism and negativity they KNEW they would get.”

The people who made this movie know Christian movies sell. It was hyped to the church, (who jumped at the chance at someone else ‘evangelizing’ for them). They are are laughing all the way to the bank, along with Rick Warren (whose cirriculum is already on its way to supplement their version of the truth)

Haven’t you been reading the posts? They are not what they seem to be. What is disturbing is that church leaders excused the omission of basic tenets of our faith and called it good.

[napscoordinator]

Son of God was miles better than the Passion.