For three days we fought with the physicians while my father, who was a brilliant articulate man, sat in his bed and drooled, and messed himself if you didn't get him to the bathroom. Imagine having an in depth conversation with a man regarding social science and politics and then feeding him and wiping him the next day.
Neurologists insisted that he had had a stroke. My poor mother fought tooth and nail for them to take him off the morphine and they treated her terribly up to the moment they physically shoved her.
At that point I unleashed the hounds as it were and went straight to the top using the words liability and litigation in every sentence. They took him off the morphine and within three hours, he was back to himself.
This is what we learned. Do not leave a loved one unattended in a hospital and question, question, question everything. There are wonderful health care providers out there; but there are also arrogant ignorant jacka**es.
I found that out! I was called and told to get to the hospital to say “good-bye”. Thank God, there was no DNR. That doctor was never allowed in that room again. 15 years later, we are still going strong. You have to be the advocate for you and your family. And, do whatever it takes.
Thankfully I’ve never had a situation as extreme as what you experienced, and I’m sorry you and your family had to endure that.
I’m constantly amazed at the naivté so many people have about hospitals. They seem to think Florence Nightengale will be holding the hand of their loved one 24/7. I have had to change bedsheets and sanitary garments for relatives because the nurses (or nurse techs or healthcare assistants, or whomever happened to be hired by that particular facility) couldn’t be bothered. One time a resident lashed into my mother, with much profanity, that she should be on her knees thanking him because he “got a speeding ticket” on the way to the hospital to take care of my father (post-stroke). THAT particular smug SOB heard an earful from me — still makes my blood boil remembering it.
People really need to be more aware of how “warehouse” so many hospitals are — if a patient doesn’t have a strong-willed advocate, they will fall to the end of the line.