If we were judges, how fun would that be?! I don’t know the first thing about singing, but, “Alex, I know this isn’t proper to say on national TV, but I do think you’d be more comfortable if you used the lavatory before going on stage.” Yeah, I’ll take the job.
I would be the anti-Pauler. "Ummm, what is with those pants?" "If that skirt were any higher, we would need the big Idol black dot. And two for me, please. Oy." "I've heard cats screeching by my back door at night sound pretty close to that. Are you in heat?" And some sugar for my late Grandma, "Oh, you think you actually look good in those jeans. Well, bless your heart."
We would have great, great FUN! ;^)