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Dangit

Okay, if you insist.
Start with fresh okra, and slice it to the thickness you like, or frozen okra.
Get a pot of boiling water going, with a small amount of butter melted in it.
Boil the sliced okra until it just starts to soften, and you can test it with a fork, but don't let it get too soft.
Now drain it and put a large iron skillet on the stove and melt in the Crisco shortening, or oil of your choice, but I like butter, real butter.
Once the butter, oil, or shortening melts, turn your skillet heat to about 2 or lower.
Now take your drained and slightly boiled sliced okra and ease it into your hot skillet, so as not to splatter yourself with hot grease, oil, or butter.
You've got to tend this closely so as not to burn it and you'll have to add more butter, oil, or shortening from time to time.
When you hear it start to sizzle, take a spatula and gently turn the okra over, and after about 10 or 15 minutes, when most of the water has steamed out, sprinkle in your cornmeal/flour mix (I use half and half mix and usually beat in one egg as I stir it into a well blended mix) a little at a time, and then turn the okra again.
Let it slow fry for about 10 minutes and add a little more meal and add butter, oil, or shortening as needed.
Just don't let it burn.
Add salt and pepper to taste, and chopped onions to taste, or mild green chilies.
I've known some people who'll chop up a green tomato or two and stir it into the fry mix, but don't add green tomatoes into the boil before the frying stage.
They'll get too soft and mushy.
Keep this routine up until you've got the mix fried like you like it.

It'll take you a few time of doing this before you get it right, but you'll learn.
The main thing is ~ to have fun, and cook it to your taste.

One other thing.
That okra is pan fried, and not deep fried, so add your butter, oil or shortening a little at a time.
Make it only about 1/4 inch deep at most before you put your okra in.
It'll take a few tries before you get this right, but you'll learn.