[x]

However, because the cops believed he was clenching his buttocks, they took it as reason to suspect him of hiding narcotics in his anal cavity.

Kegeling? Strengthening the pelvic floor? Or is that just something women do?

In honor of this incident and Pancho Villa's 1916 incursion, I suggest the town rename its sports teams the "Deming *ss Bandits."

[DonaldC]

I would have never thought clenching buttocks constituted reasonable suspicion. The guy could have some intestinal bug and was trying to hold it back.

[Nita Nupress]

<< In honor of this incident and Pancho Villa’s 1916 incursion, I suggest the town rename its sports teams the “Deming *ss Bandits.” >>

LOL. I think I’ll take a drive to New Mexico. If I time the dosage of Miralax just right, I can get myself pulled over for a minor traffic violation at just the right crucial moment.

“M’am, you can get back in your car. Wait, why are you standing funny like that?”

“Uummm.... No reason. But I really need to go. Lets get this ticket over with so I can go.”

“What do you mean you have to go?”

“I just have to GO, okay? Now write the ticket and let me go already!”

“M’am, why are you scrunching your butt cheeks together like that? Are you hiding something?”

“No, and I have to go! Now!!”

“Lady, you’re not going ANYWHERE except to get an exam!”

(Exasperated demeanor) “But I TOLD you I don’t do drugs! Now let me go THIS instance! I have to GO!”

Of course, proper timing of the inevitable, massive and explosive bowel movement would be important for full effect, preferably during the squad car trip to the hospital for my anal rape.

After sufficient pain, suffering, and mental and emotional anguish was reached, my lawyer would receive a call. ;-)