I have 2 carry .45’s, one is the Sig C3 ( a 1911 variant) and the other a Sig P220 Carry. I actually perfer my Sig P220 in .38 Super which is like a .357 Mag with 9mm recoil, but it’s a weird caliber for the east coast (popular her because Mexico likes it).
Mrs. Slim, who does not like recoil in the least, I got her a Smith 351 PD, which is an 11 ounce 7 shot .22 Magnum revolver. May not have great stopping power, but whoever she shoots at will likely be on fire and deaf due to the muzzle flash and blast from that cartridge.
In .45, take a look at the Kahr’s. Simple, nice triggers, and controllable.
Mrs. ‘Pod sez “hello.” She’s upstairs making dinner. She told me she is glad you are still around.