It’s going to take a loooong time to turn this mess around.
Urine is the answer. Get a bedwetter and wake up in that, in your bed, and it’s “get the F-K out!” Worked for me!
Dad has to give mom and ultimatum: You and me or another house and me. The adults are one, the kids are merely the product of that commitment and love. The parent relationship must come first or the kids will live on mac-n-cheese and spend most of their life wishing they had parents that stayed together.
I know a family like this. They have a 13 year old boy, 9 year old boy and 7 year old girl in the bed.
They are all overly attached to Mom. Parents can’t vacation because the kids have panic attacks.
The 9 year old went to sleep away camp for the first time this summer and had to be picked up after 3 days because he threatened to kill himself if he stayed. Camp said get him out of here.
I find it sad and disturbing.