Great post, but I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve been there about 6 times and it never gets easier. Like you, I’ve learned to be a better person having pets.
You are right, it was, and is, hard. There is however, the fact that this cat has a special place among all cats, everywhere. She has accomplished so much.
So sorry man. I know that the one thing sadder than losing a pet, is losing that special pet.