We raised 4 through the 80’s and 90’s. They had fishing poles, rifles, tents and boats. We were outside even at 30 or 40 below in an ice house. 95% of their friends by the late 90’s were in their basements with “their own” computer and cable TV. Many of these neighbor boys were just weird. Living in an outdoor paradise and they dressed Goth and hated humanity. Their parents were exactly as you said. Pre-occupied and in my opinion selfish especially with their time.
One of our sons (my stepson), who has two boys 5 & 9, rarely spends time with his boys. He is busy logging to get lumber for ne of his Too-Many projects, looking for deals on foreclosed homes, trying to fix broken down heavy equipment that he has purchased, in addition to working full time. His wife is from an “unusual” family who are very self-centered and care only about themselves.
When they ask for my advice, if they don’t like it, they get mad at me.
I basically gave this son a career (his bio dad is in the same business a I, would not offer him a job) and he is making very good money....without even a thanks from time to time.
So pre-occupied....so little time....