I think you have a real gift for dialogue, but are not quite as strong on holding the narrative together so that one isn’t saying, “Now who was that? What’s going on again?” This could be a function of the UT serialization, of course, that wouldn’t be a problem in a printed text.
Very helpful. It probably means I need more edits, as well as a separate editor. Since I have the story in my mind I often remember writing things I never wrote. When I do my editing I catch some of those, but separate editors are good at that as well. I have PDFs of both of those stories. FReepmail me if you want a copy.