Posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:05 AM PST by Lazamataz
First, please click on this music link. This is a necessary part of the effect. Got it playing? Good! Now proceed with my Opus.
I have finally decided that enough is enough. This is my "oh,piss".
The reasons I am leaving Free Republic are three:
WAYCISM: Everyone is so RACIST on Free RepubliKKK. You all constantly post "Must be the Amish" and "Oh, those Amish again" or "Definitely the Amish" when some inner-city hoodlum starts with the shenannigans. That is so WAY RACIST that I call it "WAYSIS"!
I happen to BE an Amish, and I am tired of being blamed for everything. This is a picture of me on my bike.
I have heard it conjectured that the word "Amish" is a code word referring to a person of color, but I can prove that this is not true. Here is a picture of my Amish friend Jebediah. He is my BEST FRIEND and the Best Man in my wedding:
LACK OF ENDORSEMENT OF HOMOSEXUALITY: Then there is the fact that you are all on the wrong side of history (and the shower-soap) when it comes to butterfly-bowel-love. When it comes to homosexuality, we should be sensitive and loving to the giggling little donut-punchers. Never insult the pearl-necklace adorned tumblebunnies, or demean the limp-wristed prancing knob-jockeys in any way. There is nothing wrong with being a petal-covered swishing basket-burglar! If you are an effeminate queenie-baby genuflecting chicken licker, BE PROUD! Discrimination is no longer allowed to be directed at loafer-lightening grass-tickling pounders of fudge. NEVER! No, sir!It is time that we embrace the stool-pushed jolly-ranching graduates of the Assmasters school of backseat driving! Let us once and for all, put aside the prejudice against pink-sequin-adorned squeeze-friendly rectum-flagelators! Why must Free Republic be so hostile to Barbie hugging Broadway-showgirl tootsie-roll-eating lizard worshipers? The hostility I see exhibited to rump-radar-pinging, butterbutt loving, feathered drag princesses horrific, on this forum. There is no way that crisco-hoarding, rainbow-prancing, Fucsia Puffed batty boys deserve this sort of treatment. Can we STOP being so cruel to glitter-loving tail-tickling Cleveland Steamer pooftahs? Can we EVER be civil to three-dollar-bill-collecting rollerblading fan-TAS-tic sword swallowers? Why can't Free Republic be kinder to gerbil-feeding flower sniffing rainbow-squatting bottoms-up boys? This forum is so cruel to chalk-licking lavender sniffing cheeky merrymonkey pole-vaulters! Why are we so cruel to silent-screaming bed-bouncing pump-wearing butt pilots??!? It is wrong to single out and criticize the feminine-acting, stick-twiddling parade-marching ball-jugglers. They cannot help it that they are merrily-hopping NPR-listening musical-favoring chin-trauma patients. Do not ever again mock the whinnying crochet-loving sweetwater flaming mushroom-polishers and the sweetly-flaming pole-licking sequin-wearing arsehole patrollers.
So, it is clear that you are ALL on the wrong side of history and morality, and it is time that I must leave Free Republic because of it.
EXCESSIVE VIOLINS:
You are all so violet here on Free Republic. There is so much violins! I see violin talk ALL THE TIME on this forum. People talk about 'stringing people up' and 'making them face music' and 'fingering their necks' all the time. They talk about 'drawing a bow' across them, and 'playing them like a fiddle', and other such violin references. I cannot take the violins here any more.
This is so sad. I am sad because things didn't go my way. Maybe something didn't work out the way I hoped. My feelings got hurt. I feel sad that someone let me down, left me out, or hurt my feelings with something he or she said. I lost something special. Maybe I lost something that was special to me. Or maybe my favorite shirt got shrunk in the wash and now I can't wear it anymore. I miss someone. I might feel sad when I'm missing someone or have to say goodbye. Maybe my favorite friend moved to a new state, or my big brother went away to college, or my parent is away on vacation. I heard about something sad. I might feel sad when I watch a sad movie, read a sad part in a book, or someone tells me about a sad thing that happened. If someone I care about is sad, I might feel sad, too. And what if someone dies> It's natural to feel sad if someone dies, like a close relative, or I lose a pet. That kind of sadness has a special name — grief. A problem makes me sad. Problems like bullying, friendship troubles, or difficult work schedules can sometimes make me feel sad.
So, it is so hard to leave, but I must, because Free Republic was SO MUCH BETTER before, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE. In fact, it was SO MUCH BETTER mere seconds ago, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE a few seconds from now. Every second that ticks by, Free Republic just imploded completely, because you all are so awful, and I am so great. I really am so great. Here I am, as a matter of fact.
Hey, I never said Hoppy wanted to do a porn movie and I refused to fund it, Alright?!?!? Sheesh....;)
Satirically official FR band would be Billy and the Boingers?
Or Deathtongue?
And I'm not saying anymore.
I’m a Boinger!!
10 years down the track I nearly WAS a Las Vegas lounge act...But I’m back...Cuz I’m a Boinger!!
Yes, I had the book/45 ;)
PS...WAS Debbie ever hairy?
Yea...WTC wouldn’t fund it anyway. Moral standards and all...
“WAS Debbie ever hairy?”
*cigar in hand while doing the “brilliant” pose*
Yes, exceedingly.
Oh, not the snack cakes?
When someone claims "inside knowledge", how are you going to call them on it? And they don't have to prove anything.
I may swoon.
He was good about avoiding any proof of his claims wasn’t he? In all the threads we had to deal with his BS, I notice he NEVER backed anything up. Just mocked and ran when the heat got turned up. How many times did you or I point out his Baldwin BS only to have him pop up daus later spouting more garbage?
Then he started it with Laz. And Laz called him on it MANY times.
Nope. Just poof! gone. And Poof! back with more BS as if his last crap sandwich was Holy writ.
And his PDS crap?
A total P-O-S in my opinion.
They’re probably stuck back in the twentieth century and they’re on a rotary. :p
TARDIS?
Either that or a Tardis.
You must be from that farm north of route 30.
Berke Breathed may be a lefty, but he was the political satirist that Gary Trudeau could only dream of being.
Hell even Reagan liked him even though he eviscerated him at times. But he did it without the hate and malice of the left today.
Besides, I don’t think Bill was the only one with a thing for Kirkpatrick ;)
And the ‘Meese Piece’ was a classic.
Can’t be Deathtongue without the umlaut.
Classic disruptor behavior. Come in, stir up some s**t, make outrageous claims, refuse to back them, repeat them, repeat them again, and disappear. Wait until things cool down.
Rinse and repeat.
But unfortunately, wtc911 is right about one thing. I *am* obsessive/compulsive. And I *did* make him into My Personal Little HobbyTM.
On a thread that I was just reading from 2006, some posters called him on his BS when he said the documents that would prove he was telling the truth were private docs. LOL
All time greatest comic strip. I got the entire set which was released over the last few years.
“Try the liberal call, boy!”
Milo: “Welfare!! Solar Power!! No Nukes!!”
And then the leftist runs off screaming “Gun control!! Gun control!!”
Deja vu.
Awww!! You’re so sweet! Ptth!!
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