Posted on 12/29/2012 5:48:56 AM PST by JoeProBono
They could have fed a Third World nation, or poured money into cancer research, or tried saving those polar bears stuck on itty-bitty ice floes. But no-o-o-o-o, Hollywood had better things to do with its hundreds of millions of dollars, like letting Adam Sandler make That's My Boy, and thinking we needed a remake of Red Dawn.
Sure, the film biz isn't in it for the philanthropy, and it's totally unfair to hold the expenditure of $250 million ( John Carter) or even a paltry $102 million ( Cloud Atlas) against actors, directors, and second grips engaged in earnest endeavors to create something memorable, or moving, or just fun.After all, no one intentionally sets out to make 90 minutes or two hours or three hours of stupefying dreck, right? Right?! RIGHT?!!
Herewith, the 10 dumbest, most misguided, wasteful, indulgent, soul-crushing, life-robbing films of 2012.
They're in alphabetical order, except for the last one. Maybe Peter Jackson's first installment in his new Middle-earth trilogy isn't really that awful, but it is an unexpected journey - unexpectedly twee and tech-obsessed, like being stuck in an endless video game, except a fellow with furry feet has run off with your gamepad.
Cloud Atlas Cross-dimensional, time-traveling cosmic hooey, although Tom Hanks and Halle Berry's postapocalyptic patois would make for a great comedy sketch. The gods of reincarnation should sue. And here's a question: Are codirector Lana Wachowski and Clementine Kruczynski, the heroine of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind played by Kate Winslet, the same person?
John Carter Pixar animator Andrew Stanton tried his hand with live-action in this $250 million Disney fiasco, an adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars - or Barsoom, as the pulp scribe was wont to call the Red Planet. Lynn Collins is Princess Dejah, who hails from Helium, and some of the warring creatures she and Civil War-era Earthling Taylor Kitsch contend with are Tharks, Therns, and Zodangans. Never mind the giant green-skinned, multi-limbed creatures - look out for those Barsoomian subtitles!
Lola Versus
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
Playing for Keeps
Red Dawn
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
That's My Boy
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
I do not give money to the hollywood commies.
We had to remake this?
Why was it made in the first place?
Agreed.
Truly awful.
And they absolutely WASTED Bill Nighy in, what?, two minutes of screen time?
Bill Freaking Nighy ???!!!
“The Hobbit”
Top ten worst films of 2012 ???
Granted it took a large license in adding to the story line....but I enjoyed it and it’s hardly in the top ten.....
I don't ........... recall.
In fact, we are about to reap the harvest of ignoring Senator McCarthy.
He added “The Hobbit” to the list for shock value, so that his readership might know how “BOLD”, EDGY” and “GRITTY” he is as he “SPEAKS TRUTH TO POWER!”
Similar to a kid sprinkling his talk with “f-bombs” to impress his playground buddies.
Puerile.
“Seeking a Friend for the End of the World”
Damn, how depressing is that?
hollywood has been desperate for subject material for quite some time, this is just further proof IMHO.
I loved The Hobbit, and I am fairly certain I’m going to immensely enjoy parts 2 and 3! :)
To be fair the remake was better than the original, which isn’t saying much.
The Hobbit is a very good movie.
Oops, I meant “X”... I shouldn’t post in the morning till I’ve had breakfast. :)
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World was pretty interesting.
Cept everyone did die in the end.
Gotta love a FR thread on movies. Bunch of grouches “I’ve haven’t been to a movie in 20 years...now get off my lawn”....lol
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