I’ve lived in UK all my life. I pay 23% income tax, I claimed unemployment for only a few months, I have private insurance (in addition to the usual national insurance), there are about 5 state-owned tv channels out of hundreds and the most popular newspaper in the country is owned by Rupert Murdoch. All of this information about my country is available for free on Wikipedia.
Dear Colonials,
Thank you for your kind words. One’s most impressed.
Here are some reasons to leave the USA and come to Britain:
1. I get far more deference to the Queen from a ruddy Disney movie than I’ll ever get from a Brit. No idea why that is, but if I ever tried to be as despotic as an American President my subjects wouldn’t bugger about; it’d be sharp axes on Tower Hill all over again. I can’t chance it at my age. You’re safer with me.
2. My grandsons not only joined the armed forces, they fight on the front line and do the heavy lifting just like everybody else. Keepin’ it real, fo’ sho’.
3. The TV license is all anybody ever has to pay for dozens of TV channels and lord knows how many radio stations. If you like the same five films showing 24 hours a day every day enough to pay for Sky, then you can pay more. Decades of the “if we had as many commercial TV channels with as many commercial breaks as the USA then so much of it would be crap adverts being interrupted by even crappier programs we’d all give up on TV and watch box sets instead” jokes have actually come to pass. This is why I do more interesting stuff all day long, like opening garden fetes.
4. Healthcare. Don’t fret too much. The coalition government have decided that socialized medicine costs too much and doesn’t deliver so they’re selling it off piecemeal. By the time you get your visas we’ll still have crap healthcare but it’ll be twice as expensive and it’ll be privately run. So I’m told.
5. If you think that’s a joke, consider our transport infrastructure. Private railway companies get more in subsidies than the nationalised network used to get - but thanks to their massive efficiency savings they’ve been able to, er, quadruple the fares since taking over. This is why I used to have my own. Welcome to the free market, UK style. “Free Market Drives Down Costs” - we need some of you Americans to come back and show us how that works so I can get my own train, plane and yacht back! I’ve never had to spend money in my life, so buggered if I know how that works.
6. I need you religious types over here STAT. Over here we have an Established Church which apparently I’m the head of, but as it’s Part Of The Establishment so everyone takes the piss out of it. I noticed we now have Christian TV channels on Freeview, but someone’s put them in the high numbers, near “Gay Rabbit”, the horse racing channel and the Arab stuff.
But I’m rambing. You’re welcome to come home, you prodigal shavers! No guns though. Guns are for show, knives for a pro. Unless you like shooting grouse. We don’t have many moose walking around the estates.*
Ta muchly,
Name: Liz
Occupation: Non-Executive Director, UK PLC
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/BrendaOfTheFirm
Facebook Status: “Bugger me! One can see into James Bond’s Eton dorm from one’s bedroom window.” Said Phillip. LOL!
* Apart from Camilla, obviously.
This forum has many "Brit Bashers".
No doubt you'll find that out for yourself. LOL!