a few french fries short of a Happy Meal
You think he’s stupid, you should see his brother—he walks like this.
He’s so dumb he thinks an innuendo is an Italian suppository.
Too poor to own a dog.
My mother used to say “If we had ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had eggs.” (Said rarely, only at appropriate moments.)
Russell Baker about his uncle or father (can’t remember which) when it was 30 below and he had to go outside to feed the animals or whatever: “There’s a right smart o’ wind out there.”
I love your mother...she is quite witty.