Newsvendor’s Voice: Read all about it! Read all about it! Man turns into Scotsman!
(Mix through to Potter’s front gate. His with is being interviewed by obvious plainclothes man.)
Inspector: Mrs Potter - you knew Harold Potter quite well I believe?
Wife: Oh yes quite well.
Inspector: Yes.
Wife: He was my husband.
Inspector: Yes. And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?
Wife: (shocked) No, no, not at all. He was not that sort of person...
Inspector: He didn’t wear a kilt or play the bagpipes?
Wife: No, no.
Inspector: He never got drunk at night or bought home black puddings?
Wife: No, no. Not at all.
Inspector: He didn’t have an inadequate brain capacity?
Wife: No, no, not at all.
Inspector: I see. So by your account Harold Potter was a perfectly ordinary Englishman without any tendency towards being a Scotsman whatsoever?
Wife: Absolutely, yes. (suddenly remembering) Mind you he did always watch Dr Finlay on television.
Inspector: Ah-hah! ... Well that’s it, you see. That’s how it starts.
Wife: I beg your pardon?
Inspector: Well you see Scottishness staffs with little things like that, and works up. You see, people don’t just turn into a Scotsman for no reason at all... (goes rigid with Scots accent.) No further questions!