My husband’ uncle was an avid gun owner. A year after he died his aunt committed suicide with one of the guns. I know that’s a rare occurrence, but when it hits close to home it’s not easy to put in the back of your mind.
FRiend, guns are nothing but a tool, not unlike a hammer, screwdriver or a knife.
All can be deadly weapons in the wrong hands but once you learn how to use them they become very useful.
I can understand your reticence, and I am sorry for your loss, but your Aunt could have used any one of the tools I mentioned to accomplish the same thing.
The best way to understand a tool is to be trained in it's use, you gain confidence and peace of mind knowing you can use it properly.
It is up to you, you don't have to exercise the right, but some day you might be glad you did.