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To: a fool in paradise
She's hot!
64 posted on 07/06/2012 10:23:13 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

Mr. Steven Blevins and Mr. Robert Jackson work together as executive officers for Meezorp Corp. One day after work Mr. Blevins had to get a message to Mr Robert Jackson. He called his office, but Mr. Jackson has already gone home for the day. This was a very important message. So Mr. Blevins calls his assistant to track down Mr. Jackson’s home phone number.

He dials the number and lets it ring three times. On the fourth ring, a person picks up the other line.

“Hello?” says the voice on the other end.

“Hello, this is Mr. Blevins, I’m looking to speak to Mr. Jackson,” said Steven into the receiver.

“I’m sorry, my daddy isn’t home right now,” said the little boys voice on the other end of the phone.

“Well, that’s ok, please take this message ....

Let him know that the 9:00AM meeting with China about revisions to the fourth quarter roll out of the HD-90 will occur at 8:00AM in the Metzger Room. I will pick up Joe Simms from Central Airport but someone else will need to coordinate Susan Birks’ pick-up from Lakeside.

“Did you get all of that?” asked Mr. Blevins.

“What was your name again?” says the voice on the other end.

“I’m Mr. Blevins”, Steven replied.

“How do you spell that?” asks the child.

“B-L-E-V-I-N-S” said Steven.

“And how do you make a B”, asks the voice on the other end. said the little boys voice on the other end of the phone.


66 posted on 07/06/2012 10:31:51 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Fools.Damn fools.Welcome to the USSA. Socialism is slavery to the State and the Supreme Court did it)
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To: BenLurkin

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the widow said to the hired hand, “You’ve done a really good job and the ranch looks great. Go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town the next Saturday night. However, one o’clock came and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand.

He returned around two~thirty and found the widow sitting by the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her, “Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

“Now take off my boots.”

He did so, slowly.

“Now take off my socks.”

He did.

“Now take off my skirt.”

He did.

“Now take off my bra.”

He did as he was told.

“Now,” she said, “take off my panties.” He slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, “Don’t you ever wear my clothes to town again.”


71 posted on 07/06/2012 11:28:01 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Fools.Damn fools.Welcome to the USSA. Socialism is slavery to the State and the Supreme Court did it)
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