Well, I don’t doubt that. As I get older, it is easier to have female friends. But I do completely understand one thing: I cannot have a female friend who is sexually attractive to me.
I may be happily married, love my wife, etc, but...if I were in close quarters alone with a sexually attractive woman regardless of age...I don’t want to put myself in that situation because, as another poster said, people are human, and an innocent smile at the right time can lead to ruin.
I am not ashamed to say it, I have my antennae up all the time to make sure I don’t get myself into a situation where my poor judgement will get the better of me. All the time.
That is one of the MAIN reasons I am hell bent against women taking combat military roles. People who think that is not a problem need to have their heads examined. I was a young guy once, and I don’t give a hoot how professional some young soldier is, how principled he is and so on, you put him in a dangerous, emotional or boring situation in close quarters with attractive women, it is not going to end platonically.
It just won’t. Men and women are not wired that way. And I LIKE it that we aren’t wired that way, but that is reality.
Did you watch that video? I found it extremely humorous, yet telling. I don’t know how it was cut, but I can bet you could walk into any area with young men and women and get that exact same mix of answers.
Most telling was the question: “If your boyfriend had a beautiful girl as a “friend”, would you mind them going out and having dinner together, alone?
You could see it on the faces of the women. The answer was on their face before they opened their mouths. They know.
And men. Asking men if they minded if their girlfriend went someplace alone to hang out with a guy? Guys know. They may not be pigs, as you say, but they know what goes on inside a man’s head. (it is quite humorous, actually)
That is why I made the comment on a previous post about a father with cute daughters. The boys, even the “good” ones, aren’t knocking on the door to take them out to have a good time with a friend. They are knocking on the door because they are male and she is female, and all that goes along with that for both the “good” boys and the “pigs”.
Being a father in that situation, if you are honest, must be tough.
I’m sorry to hear you can not have attractive female friends.
Call us weird, or whatever, but neither my husband, nor I, nor the vast majority of our friends have any problems when it comes to this issue.
Before I “retired” I worked in a male dominated field and 6 months out of the year my work involved cocktail parties, dinners and not being home until 1 in the morning 3 nights of the week. That doesn’t include fairly regular overnight, out of town travel and annual week long conferences. I was friendly with the majority of the wives of the men I regularly dealt with and we often sat and chuckled about the wives who freaked out about the single women (and even married women) who were around their husbands. I was engaged at the time, and so stayed with the wives I chuckled with in social settings because of those other women who actually considered me a threat to their marriage - when not a one of their husbands had ever made so much as a pass at me.
I do agreement with you about women in combat roles - we don’t belong there. PERIOD.
Of course I watched the video, I wouldn’t be commenting if I hadn’t - and as I said they are all 30 years younger than I am.
My husband just asked me what I was doing and I read him the title - he spit gatorade across the room. As I said, we both have friends of the opposite sex not because of sex, but because of shared interests.
As to daughters - well of course daddy is going to take a different attitude about his daughter, his wife is a grown woman. Our daughter is going to be 14 in less than 2 weeks and I am not out of line when I say she is very attractive. Of course he is going to have his antennae out when it comes to her - he was once a teenage boy as well.