We are so new to this and think we did a lot of things wrong and are making mental notes. We did use a grow light but had it on 24 hours a day. Probably stressed them out. We tried to move them outdoors for a couple hours at a time but think we started too early and should have put them in the shade first, then direct sunlight later. Some of them needed a bigger pot to grow in other than the tiny things we started them in.
Now the peppers and tomatoes are in their own separate larger pot sitting in natural sunlight most of the day and only one or two of them look like they won’t make it. The rest are reaching for the window. We turned them all around one night so the kids could see how the plants reach for the sun. I think next week I’ll try setting them outside for one hour at a time.
I really don’t know what I’m doing. It’s so easy to read a book or info on the web and think, “I can do this!” It’s entirely different to actually do it. I’m a slow learner.
I think anyone who has started gardening could say "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt". It's frustrating I know but stick with it. Next year will be better and the year after better still.
If you don't already have them, I recommend the following books:
The Vegetable Gardener's Bible, 2nd Edition - Ed Smith
Garden Way's Joy of Gardening - Dick Raymond
Don't despair, you'll get better at it.
You were right about the light....you are trying to copy nature, so 24 hours of light is too much. Plants need to rest too.
When grown from seed, plants need to be “hardened off”, just as you described. Outside for an hour or two in the shade the first day or two, then two to six hours for a few days, then 4 hours in a mix of sun/shade, for three to four days. And don't listen to me about the timing, watch the plants. If it's too windy you won't leave them out for as long, as they will dry out fast, and possibly stress themselves.
The idea is to allow the plant to ‘learn’ how to deal with changing weather and wind slowly.
It sounds like you're doing OK with the peppers and tomatoes. Good.
Any plants you have growing in a sunny window need to be rotated every day. 180 degrees.
The best part about starting from seed, is that if you want 6 plants, it doesn't cost much to start 18 seeds, and then only plant the strongest survivors.
Always remember...
The plants want to live even more than you want them to. IOW, they are going to try to live regardless of what you do. So keep trying.