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To: Lucky9teen

A guy answers a knock on his front door.

He looks around and then notices there is a snail down at his feet. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can, way to the far end of his garden.

Three years later, there is a knock on his front door. He answers it and the snail asks, “So what the heck was THAT all about???!!!”


55 posted on 04/27/2012 10:15:13 AM PDT by llevrok (In today's world, environmentalists would find God out of compliance.)
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To: llevrok

You get an A+ for a funny joke that I can tell my sons.


56 posted on 04/27/2012 10:34:21 AM PDT by Family Guy (I disagree with what you said, but I'll defend to the death your right to shut up.)
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To: llevrok

I served 20 years in the Navy, made 5 deployments to the Mediterranean.

There are street vendors in Naples, they usually call out to the sailors shouting, “Hey Joe!!! Hey Joe!!!”

I did a double take one day. As a couple of black sailors walked past, one of the vendors shouted, “Hey Bro!!! Hey Bro!!!”


57 posted on 04/27/2012 10:59:44 AM PDT by fredhead (It's my Herbie year...check out the number on the side of the famous VW.)
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To: llevrok
Another Navy story, this one about karma, or what goes around, comes around.

Things even out.

On my first deployment, on the aircraft carrier Nimitz, the ship spent Christmas in Naples. I was scheduled to stand duty, where I had to be on the ship, on Christmas day (go figure). I managed to go ashore on Christmas eve on liberty. Now please note that carriers do not pull pierside in Naples, they anchor out.

We (my buddies and I) returned to fleet landing to catch a boat back to the ship that night. The weather had turned bad and boating was secured. The watch took our names and divisions and told us to go get a hotel room and come back in the morning.

Next morning, boating still secured. Told to come back at noon and that the Navy destroyer tied to the pier was offering breakfast to Nimitz sailors stuck ashore.

Noon, no boating. Told to return at 1700 (5 PM). Informed of the free Christmas dinner at the NATO base, so there we went. Back at 1700, boating secured until the next morning. Next morning, got back to the ship. Not in any trouble, I tried to get back. got a free duty day off.

Fast forward 14 years and here's where karma kicked in. My last deployment, on another carrier, Eisenhower. Same port, Naples. I was section leader for my duty section. I had signed up to go on a tour to Pompeii on the day after my duty day.

Weather turned bad on my duty day. Boating secured. The section leader who was supposed to relieve me got stuck ashore. I stood two consecutive duty days with quarterdeck watches and section leader duties.

It took 14 years but the Navy got their duty day back.

58 posted on 04/27/2012 11:23:24 AM PDT by fredhead (It's my Herbie year...check out the number on the side of the famous VW.)
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