Posted on 04/21/2012 12:42:50 AM PDT by mamelukesabre
I am a middle aged single guy with no ex wives and no kids. I've never been married and never knocked up no one. For the last 12 years I've been trying hard to find that perfect someone. You may remember me having threads on this very same topic. I recently had a couple of relationships with young asian girls and posted about it...only to have those threads yanked by the FR mods.
The asian girlfriend I broke up with and posted about is still around but we don't get along that well anymore. I found another asian girl younger than her but she is no longer in the picture. She decided I was too old. She probably had a point since she was only 26. Please see my previous threads about my physical fitness. I have been working my ass off to look 15 years younger than my age and I think I have pulled it off except for baldness.
Tonight I met a new girl and I am already in love. There is just one problem. She is a 20 year old law student from Estonia. She is short and chubby and wears very thick glasses. She is very old for her age if you know what I mean. I spent the evening dancing with and drinking with her friends.
We've already made arrangements for the future. I know I am a complete idiot. I can't help it. I will be working out extra hard now and suffering more from tendonitis than I ever have in my life.
I actually wish I really was making this up.
Flame away
I can hardly wait for his “finding the perfect car/washing machine/sneakers/shampoo/sweat socks” vanities.
He’s got to have used up his best material by now and the bottom of the barrel is getting closer every time.
Is that a Cartier-Bresson photo?
He of the ‘Decisive Moment’ fame.
Nothing like an officious ass to explore one’s maturity and project their moralities and age construct, for relationships.
If you and she are happy together, enjoy the ride. Just be careful that she isn't after cash more than your studly good looks.
Regarding GOP Poet's "men as they age want to date women as young as they can get--mainly as an ego feed":
Men are designed to be attracted to healthy, fit women in their prime child-bearing years, which happens to be 18 thru 30. Women in this age range can give them children, and are young enough to deal with raising them.
Women are designed to be attracted to men who display competence and fitness, because women who are pregnant or who have young children need somebody to protect them and provide for them. Somewhat older men are acceptable because, in primitive times, a man who has managed to survive into mature adulthood is unlikely to be a complete ditz.
and no doubt you are happily married as well
Had a buddy in LA who made $100M selling auto parts. He was pursued by women up to 40 years younger who looked like movie stars. He eventually was married five times as each divorced him and took half of his estate.
When I last saw him he was down to his last few mil. In his seventies, the 18 y/o waitress was hitting on him. He told me her boobs were too small (looked great to me).
I asked him, “Sandy, have you learned anything?”
“Yeah”, he replied, “If it flies, floats, or f**ks, RENT IT!”
BTW, my first wife, who I met overseas, was Aussie. Cute girl. Turned out, I was her ticket to America. She moved on, and I was relieved because she did not love me.
After her, I wrote a Specification List for a Wife. The top requirement is Character followed by Intelligence. Interviewed hundreds of women to find her. Took five years, but the interviews were kinda fun.
One question I neglected to ask: is she here in the US with permanent residency rights?
OTOH, if she came here from estonia by herself this guy might have finally found something that will work out in spite of himself. Know what I mean?
No matter who you think you are getting involved with, the truth is, at the core, each of us is a defective (read: sinful) person. The outcome is that each relationship starts with promise and hope and, eventually, devolves into a power struggle or rejection of each other.
My personal view is that when the first statistical spike in divorce occurs at about two years it coincides with the recognition that the person you're married to is not the one you had assumed you were married to (i.e.; the one that had their best foot forward in courtship). For many, this is too much and the dump their mates in search of the mythical kind of love our culture worships but never really achieves. Hollywood promotes the idyllic myth of the ‘perfect true love’ to no end and all of us, to one degree or another, are infected with it.
The second spike occurs about year seven. I believe this is the time when many give up on the second phase of marital delusions: the desire to change their mates into the people they want them to be. The desire to control our world via control of others is terribly strong and has its origin in original sin.
The third factor is culture. Today's American culture is all about shaping women into men and men into women. In culture, law, education and every other route of inculcation, the mindless left and secularists are out to create a genderless utopia where God and the created order are distant memories and self-gratification is the ultimate good. Given factor one and two plus the reality of sin being nothing more than rebellion against God, the outcomes of this philosophy are bleak and hellish. Europe is well down this road and the statistics tell the tale of their eventual cultural suicide and the erasure of their genes from the earth.
So, where to go?
Women from Asia or the former Soviet bloc often have a stronger sense of marriage and family than many younger American women who have imbibed too many cultural values coming out of Washington or Hollywood. That can be a basis for good, but there is something more...
In order to have a happy marriage, one must accept the idea that we are failed humans and frail in our will to do love as we innately perceive love to be. That is the “hole in our hearts” that St. Augustine spoke of and it can only be filled by our creator. It also functions as a mirror to see ourselves more clearly and the fulcrum upon which we seek to change our lives and behaviors - particularly how to love one another.
If both marriage partners have made God (Christ the Savior) the center of their lives, it can function at a high level of love and satisfaction. If not, it's a crap shoot. Even marriages of a generation or two back worked because of basic Christian idealism embedded in the culture. Of course, one can find exceptions in all directions but that is not the point of my post; I believe all men and women need to humble themselves before their Creator to receive the wisdom needed to live our our created order.
That's it in a nutshell. FReep me if you have any questions.
Just want to shout a big “AMEN!” to SR’s wisdom here.......
Pray, bro, pray......and love God first.....because He first loved you......
PS: What a crazy vanity thread to have so many replies.....
Wow, we have something in common. My gf is 18 years older than me, I'm 26, she is 44 though she looks like mid 30's. Hotter body than most early 20 something women.
We were best friends for along time, lived next door to each other and worked out with each other for 2 hours every day. We are both gym rats and do triathlons and marathons.
It just happened can't explain it. Have always dated girls my own age before.
My parents no longer talk to me though and told me I;m no longer invited to come home. They can't handle the age difference and the fact we are living together. They are every religious.
Sometimes I think if you want a woman....It’s cheaper to rent one.
Dear Battle Axe
I like all your advice to Marmaduke except “get professional help” The “professional help” is devil influenced psychologists who want to get you to “do what is good for you” at the expense of others. Don’t be fooled, psychology is of the devil
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