Your post made me cringe...twice. I’m glad I am not buddies with you. Your friends have a tendency for excruciatingly painful accidents.
I could have explained about a female friend who got her t—t caught in a Maytag washing machine wringer.
Really it was just her arm. :^}
The t—t part was an OLDE joke: “
I haven’t laughed so hard since my Sister got her T—t caught in the wringer”. (1955)
Have a Great day, Fellow Night Owl.