HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Believe her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Show up naked,
Bring food.
Ooohhhyah!
Life Lessons- author unknown:
NUMBER 10
Life is sexually transmitted
NUMBER 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
NUMBER 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich.
NUMBER 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the
Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
NUMBER 6
Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still
can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
NUMBER 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying
of nothing.
NUMBER 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
NUMBER 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut
saves you $30.00?
NUMBER 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers—what you do today, might burn your
ass tomorrow.
As someone recently said to me . . .
“Don’t worry about old age—it doesn’t last that long”.