1) I expect your daughter to be able to decide certain things without getting mommy and daddy involved. If I am to create a family of my own - you will be the extended family and hence have no veto or vote within mine.
2) There are many women in this world. Some without pompous, arrogant fathers. If I am to take your daughter as my own and become one with her, then by definition that excludes you.
3) You need a better job. Your daughter is responsible for her happiness. It is my hope that I will enhance and add to that joy of life with her and our children. I cannot make anyone happy but I will pray that the lord assists.
4) I will provide you the same respect and courtesy shown to me. I will use my manners out of RESPECT FOR MY WIFE but do not assume that it will continue if respect and courtesy is not returned.
5) I also expect that as a parent that you will not interfere and put unrealistic financial expectation on my household. I am not marrying a princess, I am marrying a partner. How we choose to execute that partnership is our business and please respect that. I don’t want to hear what you think she deserves or have resentment programmed into her as we make sacrifices starting our family.
6) Back at you. Once we are married we have a legal and spiritual contract and I expect you to honor it buy being supportive of your daughter.
7) Unfortunately in today's world, both sexes have issues with wild oats. Why don’t we both hope that this is not one of the many marriages that end in divorce or dysfunction caused by spouses being unfaithful. Cheating spouses come in both sexes unfortunately.
8) If in the event a divorce occurs, if you are one of those parents that encourages their daughter to destroy their former husband, father of the children and a part of the family for simple spite or greed or revenge or sport, then I promise you won’t have to go far to meet me - I will make you reap what you sow - That I swear!
How about this list for all the little princesses who want to get their hands on my fine SONS. They are great young men and if a meddling FIL gets in the way, GAME ON!
A post after my own heart.......definitely the parent of a son
Thank you.
Preach it! I have sons as well who are stellar. Some little precious snowflake and her over-protective father are not going to mess with their lives.
I have weapons and retain the right to use them at anytime now or in the future to safeguard and improve the life of my daughter. You maybe marry her and I will graciously allow you to join mean in that duty. Doing this will not remove my 'veto option' now or ever. I already gave 18 to 20 years to give her a good life. I will gladly give another 20 to life if it is needed. I will give you the benifit of the doubt AFTER you have spent an equal amount of time devoted to her happiness and well being.
Thank you! I didn’t appreciate the first list. How about I expect you to treat my daughter with respect and I in turned have taught her to treat you with respect and leave it at that.
On the other hand, we are raising our children for old fashioned courtship instead of the dating rat race. There is no need for my children to go out and sow any oats with anyone. When they are ready for marriage is the time to start looking for a partner not before.
Very well said!
I think the original list is the result of a combination of insecurity and lack of maturity. The man has no control over his daughter, making him insecure, and he lashes out at a potential suitor because of it. The threats are just juvenile. I would bet 100% of the men who say those things in real life would piss themselves before they ever pulled a trigger on someone.
But the main problem with lists like that is all it does is fuel the fire. It creates two enemies in the initial meeting. There is no need to be antagonistic the first time you meet someone, unless you need to prove your the baddest man in the valley, which goes back to insecurity.
I think you hit it perfectly when you said that the outcome of this conversation will be one of the two choices if the guy stays with the girl:
He is a decent guy who is enough of a man to not be bullied so he caries a “screw off” attitude
or
He gives in to all of the father’s silly demands and will be a sniveling wimp throughout the entirity of the relationship with the girl and the father.