““Son... I’ve got a .45, a shovel, and 20 acres out back. I doubt you’ll be missed.””
Yes, you will be missed, you just won’t be found.
I myself have a 16-year old daughter who just happens to be gorgeous. I see the way the boys look at her (fortunately, she hasn't yet). and I know exactly what they're thinking 'cause I was a horny little pimple-faced creep once upon a time, too.
So, yeah, I do plan on being down in my workshop when she introduces me to her first date, and I do plan to be cleaning one of my AR-15s at the time. ;-)