I’d never insult a dog by ascribing human characteristics to them, they’re much better than that.
Heh!
I know you were joking, but you bring to mind an interesting point: God made man and the animals, and ascribed to each a place - a proper and good place. To move either from that place is not good.
Those who speak of their pets as “my children” (in lieu, perhaps, of real children) and treat them accordingly are doing neither themselves nor their pets any favors.
Make no mistake, I love my dogs. And they “love” me back as (in Daffynition’s phrase) dogs doing their job. But when I cease being their master and become instead their “friend”, both they and I will suffer for it. They need a master and I need to be it. It’s the way both they and I were made, and God called it “good”.