I know you addressed your post to Kabumpo, but thought I’d respond as well since my mother has BPD. In short, she made life hell and always uncertain. She showed no loyalty whatsoever as a mother. She would believe the word of a total stranger over my word, she would call my friends and people I was dating to tell them how horrible I was and to threaten them if they ever saw me again. As a child, when I got injured, she would deny medical treatment and accuse me of lying...only for doctors to later end up putting a cast on me, etc. As an adult, she called my place of employment to badmouth me in an attempt to railroad my career. It never ended until I ended it and cut off contact.
I haven’t had contact with her in years. Believe it or not, I still love her, but I know she is profoundly mentally ill and I can’t have her in my life.
Those with BPD are poison. By nature, they attack the ones they “love” most. In their twisted way of thinking, they can’t stand to lose you, so they f*ck up your entire world thinking that all you’ll have left is them. That’s the meat of BPD.
From everything I've read though, I have great difficulty believing that the root of it is "fear," and "low self-esteem." All of the experts say that, but something in my gut keeps saying, "you've never lived here, you don't know." They are true emotional terrorists.
I also appreciate your sharing your knowledge about BPD too. It is helpful to me as someone who came in contact with someone such as this in my professional world.